Wad

One of the few semi-nicknames I have had has been "Wad." Kristen (mother of "Chunk") nicknamed me that when she saw my mini-turkey meatloaf from Fox and Obel. (Imagine you make a meat muffin in one of those jumbo muffin tins and you have the size and shape of this item.) And I ate the whole thing. (And you thought this blog post was going to be sexual, didn't you?)

That was just one of the freakishly large lumps of meat that I eat. I alternate between thinking it is normal to freaking myself out when I eat an entire package of cold-cuts or one of those pre-prepared meat packages designed for a family of four for lunch. Today was a roast beef (~100 grams of protein in the container). Freakish, I know.

The spookiest looking one was Jennie-O Turkey Breast Strips in Teriyaki Sauce -- I swear to got it was indistinguishable from a big plastic bag of Fancy Feast.

Conventional wisdom (if there is such a thing) in body building says that you should eat at least your weight in grams of protein a day. I weigh about 190, so that means 190 grams of protein. One egg has about 5 grams. One Subway-sandwich sized chicken breast has 25. Now you get the freakish amounts of meat need to go into my blow hole in order to get to the optimal muscle growth.

Every time I turn around I am stuffing protein into my mouth.

Just call me Wad.

(Ok, now you can use your dirty mind)